How To Be More Compassionate To Yourself + Affirmations

How to be compassionate towards yourself with affirmations

It can feel like a lot of effort to love and take care of yourself, but it is important to take steps that increase your overall sense of well-being. There is a whole movement dedicated to helping you grow in self-compassion at self-compassion.org. Taken from their website

“Self-compassion is simply the process of turning compassion inward.  We are kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when we fail, make mistakes or feel inadequate.  We give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being cold and judgmental when challenges and difficulty arise in our lives. Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available to us, radically improving our mental and physical wellbeing. It motivates us to make changes and reach our goals not because we’re inadequate, but because we care and want to be happy.”

Here are some tips with affirmations to begin building this self-compassion.

Listen to your inner critic.

Well, actually, don’t listen to her, but pay attention to her. Recognize that the inner critic is not your true self. Remind yourself how you would talk to someone else. Would you let someone you love believe the critical things you say about yourself? Of course not! You would refute and encourage. Which brings us to the next thing.

I forgive myself for believing my inner critic is true.

 I forgive others when they validate my inner critic.

 I give others permission to forgive me when I criticize them or validate their inner critic.

 I give myself permission to speak positively about myself.

 I give myself permission to have more perspective and reframe my negative thoughts.

 I give myself permission to feel secure and worthy of positive self talk.

Speak to yourself as you would a friend. 

Think about how you would speak to a friend who needs encouragement. What would you do or say to help that friend? Then do that for yourself! I also want to point out that you shouldn’t be unkind or dismissive to the inner critic because that inner critic is still you and simply needs gentle and loving guidance. Use the critical words to help you reframe and be more kind to yourself. For example,

“I’m so stupid” becomes 

“It is okay, and I’ll do better next time,” or

“I’m really competent and confident with other things, and I can be here too, it just may take some practice,” or

“Everyone makes mistakes.” 

“No one will ever love me,” becomes

“I can remember time when I was loved and felt loved,” or

“I am here to be loved,” or

“I know I have people, networks, and communities where I am loved and belong,” or

“There will be new relationships full of love,” or

“Love is worth it even when it doesn’t work out,” or

“I love me.” 

“I’ll never be good enough,” becomes

“There are places in my life where I know that I am good enough, they are…” or

“My friends and family believe in me and know I’m good enough,” or

“I don’t have to do anything to prove I’m good enough, I am worthy just the way that I am” or

“I can still love myself even if I didn’t do good enough in a particular situation,” or

“I will be/am good enough.” 

Practice mindfulness

Check out headspace to begin a practice, and yes, it does take practice. Focusing on being non-judgmental toward yourself helps you to react more regulated in your everyday life as a partner, parent, friend, and co-worker. Using the calm app can also help you build that self-compassion by directing your attention to loving yourself where you are at–the same compassion that you would extend to someone else. 

I give myself permission to let go of judgment towards myself.

I give myself permission to feel worthy of kindness and compassion.

I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid I'm going to still judge myself or be judged.

I give myself permission to let go of nervousness and feel confident even when things don't go perfect.

Accept compassion from others. Receive support from others. 

Compassion can be extended to ourselves and others, and we can receive compassion from others as well. While self-compassion can help us through some hard times, the fact remains that we are social beings. We need people, and we can’t always self-talk ourselves into complete bliss, love, and courage. Someone else needs to extend compassion to us in order to jumpstart our self-compassion battery that may have been depleted. 

I give myself permission to accept compassion from others.

I give myself permission to accept I'm worthy of the compassion others will extend to me.

I forgive myself for believing I don't deserve compassion from others.

I forgive myself for believing I have to have everything together before I can ask for help or support.

I love and I accept myself even when I'm afraid compassion from myself or others won't help.

I give myself permission to accept I need others' help sometimes and that's okay.

Forgive yourself.

Forgiving yourself sounds like a solitary endeavor, but the truth is that there is help for this. Letting go of the negative self talk by forgiving yourself is the key to unlocking self-compassion and compassion for others. At Open Heart Holistic Therapy we use Emotional Polarity Technique to help you find the right words and affirmations to forgive yourself. If you or someone you know needs more of this, then schedule a free consult today. 

I give myself permission to forgive myself.

I forgive myself for believing I'm unforgivable.

I forgive myself for believing everything is my fault.

I forgive myself for believing someone else has to change before I can love and forgive myself.

I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid I can't forgive.

I give myself permission to feel worthy of forgiveness and compassion.

I give myself permission to extend worthiness and compassion and forgiveness to others.

Don’t give up on compassion

You are worthy of compassion from yourself and from others. There isn’t anything you have to do to earn it. See my blog post on Stop Earning Love for more. At Open Heart Holistic Therapy whether for yourself or someone you love, we’re here to create that space to receive and to grow in compassion. You are worth it.